Warrior_Monster Slayer Page 10

  And all this time I’d resented her a little for getting off easier than me.

  My stomach did a flip and I felt queasy. At least I’d had Vrill to guide and protect me.

  “Stop,” Lace said, turning around. She gestured to the pit I’d almost fallen into before. Yes, exactly, the one with hundreds of giant cobras.

  I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I’d only gotten to two when she said, “Get a slither out and kill it. Or die trying.”

  Beat glanced at me, seeming to sense my fear. “I did it yesterday. It’s not too bad. Got bitten twice. The primordial ooze is an antivenom. Eve won’t let you die.”

  “Giving away all my secrets, are you?” Lace said.

  “You shouldn’t be scaring newbs,” Beat said, not giving an inch.

  Lace’s eyes narrowed dangerously as she sauntered over. Beat puffed out her sturdy chest and seemed to grow a few inches taller. I resisted the urge to back up a step or ten.

  Lace stopped when she was face to face with Beat, the two women staring daggers at each other. “Listen up, because I’m only going to say this once,” Lace said, her fangs glistening in the waning bronze light. “You should be scared. Whether new or not, whether goddess or the scum on the bottom of their little pond, it is the fear that will save your life out there. Fear, so long as you don’t let it consume you, will heighten your senses and sharpen your mind. So be afraid of the Black and survive.”

  “That’s the plan,” I said, clapping my hands together and trying to break the tension. I was scared. Of the Black. Of monsters. Of having my arm ripped off. Lace didn’t have to worry about my fear, that was for damn sure.

  Lace’s eyes darted to meet mine, her pupils widening into pools of inky black before narrowing into sharp ovals. “Why do the comedians always come from Earth?” she asked.

  I assumed it was a rhetorical question, so I stayed silent until she’d turned away and gestured at a pile of wooden poles with hooks on the end. “Choose your weapon.”

  “They’re all the same,” I pointed out, looking for the swords, battle axes, crossbows, something deadlier looking.

  “That should make your choice easy then.”

  Beat strode over and grabbed a hooked pole at random. I followed, taking my time, pretending to inspect the various poles for imperfections. They really were all the same. “So…” I said. “Will you be the newb instructor the whole time?”

  Lace looked at the golden sky, as if requesting help from a higher power. Patience, perhaps, a virtue she didn’t seem to have. “No,” she growled. “We take turns. It’s like punishment.”

  “But weren’t you a newb only seventy-five or so Blacks ago?” I said. I thought if I reminded her she was closer to being one of us than she acted she might be a little nicer.

  I was wrong.

  “Might as well have been ten lifetimes ago,” she said. “The Black will change you. Age you. Each Black is like a year of experience, of war. And the next one is on our doorstep, so get on with it!”

  Beat was already getting on with it, peering into the pit, her pole gripped by white-knuckled fingers. When I blinked, she lashed out, lifting a cobra—or a slither, as Lace had called it—around its thick middle.

  The snake wasn’t happy.

  It hissed and, I’m not making this up, jumped. Beat barely had a chance to spring out of the way before it landed where she’d been a moment earlier, lashing out with the speed of, well, a striking cobra. Except faster. So fast it was a blur. Subconsciously, I’d been backing away from the moment I saw the thing.

  Instead of going for Beat, however, it twisted rapidly and charged in my direction, long body and tail undulating behind it, carving a writhing path in the dirt.

  I panicked. As I do. Any thoughts of how I’d had sex with a beautiful alien woman—twice—and killed the winged gargat vacated my mind and I was boring Sam Ryder again, unemployed programmer and nighttime gamer. I might’ve let loose a high-pitched scream as I ran.

  I didn’t like snakes very much.

  This one seemed to like me a lot, because when I looked back, it was right on top of me, huge maw open, fangs dripping as it hissed and lashed at my face.

  I was dead.

  The slither stopped in midair, a hairsbreadth from biting my face off, so close I could see into its mouth and down its throat, the wavy pink flesh vanishing into the shadows of its insides.

  An instant later, it dropped to the ground, flopping and writing, spouting green goo that I assumed was its blood. I just stared, my heart pounding, my breath coming in waves. Beat stood on the slither’s bottom half, still holding the pole. The hooked business end was stabbed into the snake’s flesh where it had been severed in half.

  “You saved my life,” I said dumbly.

  “I owed you one,” she said. Shrugging, like it was nothing.

  It was not nothing. “Thank you.”

  “Seriously. It was my slither anyway. Don’t mention it again or I’ll be forced to use the hook on you.” She laughed uncomfortably.

  “Goddesses,” Lace said, rolling her eyes. “You’ll save each other’s lives a hundred times over the next dozen Blacks. If you stand there making eyes at each other every time, you’ll be killed. So move on. You’re next, Sam.”

  I was hoping after the whole almost-dying thing, maybe she’d take pity on me and call off the rest of training. No luck.

  Feeling numb and scared shitless, I strode forward like fighting giant slithers was part of my daily routine. I fumbled at the poles, dropping one twice before finally getting a good grip. I eased my line of sight over the edge of the pit but jumped back when one of the snakes snapped upwards with a hiss. Like I said before, the pit was deep. So long as the serpents were in it, I was safe, yet here I was acting like a little boy who had encountered a snake in his bed.

  I heard Lace chuckling.

  Memories of a childhood spent as the butt of other kids’ jokes arose from somewhere deep inside me, where I kept them locked and chained. I remembered the time in seventh grade when my pants had been pulled down—whooshing, it was called—in front of everyone in my P.E. class. When my face had gone beet red, everyone had laughed, including the girl I’d had a crush on, a girl so popular even her entourage had an entourage. Other memories swirled, each fighting to destroy any resolve I had left.

  Screw you all! I thought, gritting my teeth. My life back on Earth might’ve been a pathetic waste of time, but I wasn’t that guy anymore. Vrill, the hottest non-goddess creature I’d ever seen in my life, had found me attractive. She’d talked with me like I was a somebody. Maybe it was partly because of my new, studly body, but I’d said and done the right things too. I wasn’t the same loser I was before. And I wasn’t about to let some brainless slither make me look bad. Hell, on this world, these snakes were probably the equivalent of a goomba on Super Mario Bros. The easiest enemy to kill.

  I shoved my pole into the pit, hooked the first slither I reached, and pulled. Hard.

  Yeah, probably not the right approach, but it worked. The slither went flying through the air like it had grown wings, twisting and writhing as it arced overhead, landing with a heavy thump a short distance away from me.

  Oh shit.

  I’d screwed up. Again. Because not only had I thrown one slither out of the pit, but I’d managed to hook another one at the same time. I tried to shake it off the end, but it resisted, wrapping its sinewy body around the pole several times to avoid being dislodged.

  Meanwhile, the other slither was, yes, slithering toward me, its intentions clear: snack time!

  I acted without thinking, like I would as a gamer. Using a joystick, it was my fingers that needed to do the work, moving so fast even my own mind couldn’t keep up. Now it was my entire body that needed to work my internal joystick.

  The first thing I did was throw the pole into the pit. Yes, it was a weapon, but it was also useless so long as the other snake was curled around it. The snake hissed as it clattered back into the hole.<
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  Next, I dove to the side, the other slither’s strike so close I heard its jaws snap shut as it sprang past. I rolled, my muscled shoulder and back cushioning the blow, using my momentum to transform the somersault into a leap. I landed amongst the pile of hooked poles, breaking one under my feet as I stomped down. A wooden splinter speared upward into my foot, piercing my flesh. It stung, but the adrenaline pushed the pain away as I scooped up an unbroken pole and swung it like a major league slugger aiming for the left field bleachers.

  It was a good thing I did, because the snake had not been idle, curling back toward me and striking once more.

  I caught it in the side of its hooded head. Unfortunately, the hook didn’t pierce its flesh, and instead it was just knocked aside, skidding in a tangled knot of leathery flesh.

  It untangled itself, moving more slowly this time, eyeing me warily. Maybe I’d stunned it. Or maybe it was just calculating its next move, how best to pierce my skin with its dagger-like fangs.

  I gripped the pole with two hands, probing at the snake, trying to keep it a safe distance away until I had the chance to stab it. It rose up higher and higher, until it stood almost as tall as Tor the giant. Gaining the higher ground, an advantage I didn’t want it to have.

  Its head swayed from side to side, almost hypnotic in its movements, like it was trying to lull me into a trance.

  And then it struck with the speed of a lightning strike.

  I twisted to the side, holding the pole in front of my face with both hands. It crunched down on the pole, snapping it in half, bits of wood and splinters vanishing down its maw. I fell back, managing to get off a kick to its head, which only seemed to infuriate it more. It rose up, but not as high this time, realizing that the fight was almost over. Once more, it struck.

  I rolled and its mouth hit the ground, leaving two perfect fang indentations in the dirt where my head had been a moment earlier.

  This time, I was ready. Because I was still holding the two sides of the pole that the slither had bitten in half. The two sides that were now sharp on one end, wooden shards that resembled a pair of daggers.

  I’ve never been ambidextrous, but evidently my new body didn’t know that, because my left arm worked as well as my right as I attacked with both wooden blades at once.

  The first went through the side of snake’s head, and I brought the second down through the middle of its back, pushing it all the way through with enough force to drive it like a stake into the ground.

  The snake went berserk, its head snapping back and forth as it tried to clamp its jaws down upon me. It almost got me, too, but I managed a well-aimed rabbit punch that gave me just enough room to scoot away and out of range. Green blood oozed from its dual wounds.

  Its movements got slower and slower.

  Eventually, it died.

  Holy shit, I did it.

  “Holy shit, you did it,” Beat said, echoing my thoughts. “Not bad for a newb.”

  “HowthefuckdidIdothat?” I said between breaths.

  Beat smiled. “Because you’re a Warrior. Like me.”

  Lace offered a slow, sarcastic-sounding clap. “Congratulations on not dying. Tonight might be a different story.”

  With that, she led the way back up the hill.

  “Thanks for the pep talk,” I said, which drew a laugh from Beat, who was suddenly looking at me a little differently.

  ELEVEN

  THE BLACK

  The others were gathered atop the hill. Most of them were smudged with dirt and sweating, from whatever training activities they’d participated in. Considering we had a pit of vicious snakes, there was probably a nest of the winged gargoyle creatures somewhere else. For “training,” of course.

  Protector Kloop stood before us as we settled into a line.

  “Most of you know the drill,” he said, his horned snout lifting with what appeared to be pride. “For the new blood, you have experienced the Black, but only in fleeting moments. If you are going to survive it and do your duty, you must learn to love the darkness.”

  This dude was clearly one or two marbles short. Love the darkness? Maybe. But not the Black. Not when the dwindling bronze daylight meant it was time for the things that go bump in the night to come out for monster play time.

  “We support each other,” he continued. “It is the only way to survive. No one stands alone. No one. Choose your weapons.” With that, he clapped his gray, leathery hands together, grabbed a double-edged axe from a pile of weapons and started down the hill.

  Before I could ask one of the several questions his speech had conjured, Beat had shoved me after him. The rest of our group—troop? Platoon?—followed our leader, each choosing a weapon from the pile. They were crude, medieval-style weapons and I wondered why the Three Goddesses hadn’t used whatever power they had left to create us some grenade launchers and assault rifles. Or Eve could bring some over at the same time she brought her next round of recruits.

  Beat read my mind. “Apparently guns and explosives don’t work here,” she said. “We gotta slay the monsters the old-fashioned way.”

  “Of course,” I muttered. Because this place hated us.

  Beat chose a long spear that made her look like she should be riding an Egyptian chariot into battle. She added a bulky shield that suited her as well as the spear. She looked, well, badass.

  Other than video games, I had no experience with weapons. Swords were always considered cool, and some of the ones in the pile looked awesome, but something about them didn’t feel right for me or my new body. Almost on a whim, I selected a massive hammer. I expected to struggle to lift it, much less swing the damn thing with any force, but it was lighter than it looked. Or I was stronger than I thought. Regardless, I had no trouble hefting it up to rest it on my shoulder. The weight of it felt good there. I considered a few of the remaining shields, but none of them looked like something I would know what to do with, and I wanted to stay agile.

  “Where are we going?” I asked as I settled into stride beside Beat, because she was the only one who seemed to have any interest in talking to me.

  “Outside the wards,” she said.

  The…fuck? “Why would we do that when it’s safer inside them?”

  “Eve didn’t explain shit to you, did she?” Beat said, raising her eyebrows. An amused grin grew across her face. “She must really not like you.”

  “What? No. At least I don’t think so. She’s never been nasty to me or anything like that. A bit cold and condescending. She seems to mess with my penis a bit, but…” Did I just admit that?

  Beat chuckled. “You mean the walking around half-naked thing? No, that’s just Eve. She’s been here a while. She views…modesty differently than we do on Earth. The Three aren’t much better.”

  So I remembered. Minertha’s beautiful earthy skin flashed in my mind just before I remembered how she’d tricked me into climbing the wrong side of the cliffs.

  “Did you try to kiss her back on Earth?” Beat asked, surprising me.

  “Well, yeah, but—”

  “And then you blacked out?”

  I nodded. “How did you know?”

  She shrugged. “The same thing happened to me. She picked me up at a bar after I had a lousy day. Okay fine, a lousy year, or life, or whatever. I thought I was dreaming that a woman like her could be interested in someone like me.”

  “Whaddya mean?” I said. “Your body is like—” I stopped and had the urge to smack my own head. Duh. “Your body was changed by the ooze.”

  “Of course. Just like yours. I was a tad overweight. Glasses. Acne scars from my adolescent years. Alone. I was your typical loser…or I should say Outcast. All of us were.”

  We reached the bottom of the hill just as I was trying to picture Beat as Beatrice. The rocky ground spread out before us all the way to the dark silhouette of the mountain range. The sky was darkening swiftly now, and soon the mountains would be consumed by it.

  All around me, the others looked so st
rong and capable. Could they really have been like me before? My mind wasn’t nearly creative enough to picture Lace, the feline beauty, as anything but what she was now. And Vrill? She performed the act of sex like a dance. Could there really have been a time when others wouldn’t have wanted to…have her?

  I remembered myself—before. Yes, it was possible.

  “But why choose us? Why choose the losers to come to this place to defend these…these goddesses?”

  Instead of answering my question she asked one of her own. “Do you want to go back?”

  “To Earth?”

  She nodded.

  “I—” It was the very same inner conversation I’d had previously. This alien planet was a horrific place in many ways. Living in constant fear of dismemberment or death, or worse. Forced to face monsters to protect three women—goddesses—I knew nothing about. Taken away from the first person who had shown me true friendship in a long time. “No,” I said, with certainty. “I wouldn’t.” I wouldn’t go back because here I could start over. Here I could be anything I wanted to be, the man I always fantasized about being as I played my meaningless video games. A hero. A warrior. A lover. Strong.

  “Me either,” Beat admitted. “Lace told me some things. She’s been here a while. Longer than most. Eve likes her for some reason.”

  “I can’t fathom why,” I thought, remembering how the cat-woman’s fangs glistened as she eyed me like I was her next snack.

  “She’s not that bad once you get to know her,” Beat said. “Anyway, apparently Eve used to be less…discerning about who she chose to bring here. The problem was, most of her new recruits wanted to go back. They had families, friends, reasons. We don’t. Your parents?”

  I swallowed. They weren’t dead, though it felt like that sometimes. They’d just never shown any interest in me or my life, like I was some cosmic mistake they could never undo. I shook my head, kicking a stone in frustration. It skittered across the rough terrain before returning to rest.

  “See?” Beat said. “Me neither. I grew up in the system. I literally have no one to go back to.”